Canadiano vs Americano: When Your Morning Coffee Becomes Political

And there it is again, on menus and chalkboards everywhere: that particular item that passes itself off as coffee. 
The Americano. 

After the first sip, the question presents itself naturally: why would anyone name a coffee drink after the Americans?

The roots of this caffeinated misfortune trace back to occupied Europe during World War II. 

Trained and battle-hardened American soldiers simply couldn't handle the espresso — the mother of all coffees. 
Too much flavour. 
Too much richness. 
Too thoroughly un-American. 
And what do uniformed Americans do when faced with such a problem? 
They dilute. 
They keep diluting until the remaining liquid tastes like the familiar drip coffee back home. 
Tastes? 
Well, sort of. 
And so the Americano was born.

Eighty-one years have passed since the Second World War. 
But the Americano remained. 
At least in coffee chains and regular coffee shops. 

Among coffee connoisseurs, it was merely a stepchild — unwanted, slightly embarrassing. 
But for more than a year now, the spotlight has swung back onto the Americano. 
Suddenly, the word is no longer just a label for caffeinated dishwater. 
No — the Americano has gone political. Ouch.

The Americano was no longer welcome. 
Not because of its watery contents, but because of its rhetorical ones. 
Someone down south had managed to make "Amis stay home" feel current again. 

Holy smokes. 

In Canada, the Americanisms that once came from a big brother have shifted into something more toxic. 

The sense of kinship with ordinary American people is still there — after all, they're simply human beings stuck with a strange and surreal government. 

They remain neighbours and friends. 

But the Americano itself? 
America No. 

The whole thing has become too patriotically charged for comfort.

That said, plenty of people happily quench their morning thirst with a cup of this caffeinated trace-element soup. 
Nothing wrong with that. 
But how does one order an Americano at the café without immediately tasting something bitter? 
It can't be — and shouldn't be — that anything red, white, and starred gets stamped with a scarlet letter.

Resourceful people are enormously creative. 
They're always finding something new, something unexpected. 
And no, these people aren't all detectives or intelligence operatives. 

The Americano problem has been solved. 
At least here in Canada. 

On countless café chalkboards listing the available coffee options, a new word now appears — clearly and with a certain warmth: CANADIANO.

Well, there you go. 

At least that problem has been filed away. 
After the second espresso-based coffee, we'll get around to the other issues drifting up from the south. 

OK, Canadianos?