Dumbo

Yes, Dumbo is an elephant. 
And Dumbo is present in the room, full size. 
And nobody “sees” Dumbo. 

“The elephant in the room” is what’s called a metaphor. 
A vivid description of a situation in which something obvious – an elephant in the room, for example – is not addressed. 
Not meant to be discussed. 

Huh?

Every child would immediately point a finger at Dumbo the moment they spotted the beast standing there in the corner. 
Yes, kids do that sort of thing. 
But adults – those humans with the capacity for deeper or twisted thought – will take great care to avoid risking even a quick glance at Dumbo.

The fear is too large and too grey to risk being bothered by one or several conflicts. 
Or worse still, suggesting that a conflict exists. 

Fair enough, some of those present are accustomed, out of respect or consideration, to not raising a topic. 

Other elephant deniers simply refuse to accept the reality of Dumbo standing right there in the room.

WOW. What a metaphor can accomplish really is quite something.

Has anyone in the room ever stopped to wonder how Dumbo might be feeling about all this? 
An elephant is used to its presence being acknowledged, at the very least. 
And usually accompanied by a hearty “Oooh” and “Aaah.” 
But this complete ignoring of the grey eminences is remarkable. 

Dumbo’s feelings seem to be of no interest to anyone.

If you’ve ever stood in a corner at a party, wondering why nobody was curious about you – that’s how Dumbo must feel. 
One can only hope that Dumbo never finds out that in the real world he’s treated as nothing more than a metaphor.

And who knows, perhaps it would actually do Dumbo enormous good to be addressed directly. 

Along with the problems connected to him – or her. 
Maybe Dumbo doesn’t even know he’s a problematic elephant. 
Perhaps Dumbo has been under the illusion for decades that he is the most beloved, magnificent, charming, honest and open elephant in the entire world.

“Oh really, Dumbo?”

Physically, one could certainly understand how that happens, when Dumbo mostly only sees himself. 
Or stands in his own way. 
His presence, measured in pounds or kilos, is truly remarkable. 

What’s more, hardly anyone has ever objected to Dumbo trunking his opinions around everywhere, at any time, and mostly without being asked. 
Dumbo will probably also fail to notice when he tramples over other people’s feelings with his heavy, clumsy feet. 
Because he only has Point A and Destination B in his sights. 
And his eyes are, proportionally, very small.

And this is precisely where the metaphor leads Dumbo astray. 

Nobody tells him clearly and unmistakably what’s actually going on. 

Where he’s wrong. Where he’s behaving unfairly.

Perhaps Dumbo would adjust his behaviour if someone found the courage to speak plainly. 
Perhaps.

But as long as the Grey One stands there in the room, undisturbed by anyone, change is entirely unthinkable. 
Not to mention, that Dumbo is 79 years of age. 

Because Dumbo knows nothing. 
Understands very little. 
And is completely consumed by his own dreadful greyness.

“Hey you there! Yes, Dumbo, I mean you.”